Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action ~ 1John 3:18

Cathedral-Handcuffs

by Mary Jane McGraw


Sunday arrived and I headed out for the drive to LA... my camera was sitting by the front door and I decided to take it along with an extra roll of film lying nearby. It had been a long time since a large number of survivors and supporters were expected to turn out for a protest at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels-it would be a good opportunity to take pictures of the multiple participants.

This was to be a special silent vigil for the more than 170 known victims of clergy sexual abuse who have taken their own lives. Many members of the local SNAP groups had spent hours preparing for this event; gathering pictures of suicide victims; cutting out black silhouettes to lay on the ground; making posters to call attention to the issues they feel the Cardinal needs to address; making phone calls to ask friends, family and co-workers to participate.

Those of us who have spent time with survivors of sexual abuse are well aware that many victims consider suicide to free them from the guilt, shame and blame that they live with each day. I was hopeful that this event would bring out the press and provide much needed coverage of this aspect of the abuse crisis which has erupted within my Catholic Church.

Nothing could have prepared me for the day's events. By 10 am there were over 200 people lining Temple St. and going around the corner... "Crime Scene" tape ran the entire length of the Cathedral complex with survivors, parents, children and supporters standing with posters proclaiming different messages. On the sidewalk the pictures of some of the suicide victims looked up to the heavens... and as things developed, as I had hoped, they were looking down as well. The participants were united in their reverence, united in their silence, united in their sorrow and suffering. Without incident they stood there as representatives of all the clergy sexual abuse victims. They stood in the hot sun with dignity and pride, questions and demands.

"Name the over 33 accused priests."
"Where is transparency?"
"Turn over the documents!"
"Why protect pedophiles?"
"What would Jesus do?"
"Where is Justice."

Then suddenly, everything seemed to change. A SNAP leader came to the gateway of the Cathedral calling anxiously for one of the participants, an attorney. When I saw them both head up the steps toward the Cathedral I suddenly felt that I should follow them. It didn't take long before someone from behind me was calling for me to stop. I decided to continue walking up the handicap ramp and then I heard "I've got one of them going up the ramp. You'll need to stop her at the top." As I reached the ramp end, sure enough, an usher/greeter/security person stood in front of me and asked where I was going. "Are you going to Mass?" "No," I replied, "I'm going to pray in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel." With that I was told to use the doors on the far side of the Cathedral so off I went.

Once inside I quickly found the SNAP leader and attorney standing in an aisle against the wall looking over an area of pews. "He's in this section." Immediately, I knew that there was one survivor I had not seen out on Temple St. as I took my pictures. Jim Robertson, a survivor of sexual abuse, my impassioned friend, was undoubtedly, "...in this section."

Suddenly, it dawned on me that Jim was going to make some statement during this Mass. I went to the rear of the pews and searched every row trying to find him. When the Consecration began I knelt behind the last row and prayed that "all will be well." I glanced to my left during the Our Father and saw a man with bolt cutters standing against the wall in the aisle to my left. Now I was even more intent on finding Jim and as I went forward to Communion I looked back at the tiered pews searching for his familiar face. He was no where to be found.

Sometime between receiving Communion and returning to the back row I turned my head toward the Altar and suddenly, I saw Jim standing straight and tall in a gray suit with a white shirt. He was standing next to the cathedra (Cardinal's chair) with his right arm over one of the wooden cross pieces that form the back of the chair. From where I was I could just barely make out the handcuff over the wood. An usher/greeter/security person was standing just behind him. The Communion lines continued to flow toward the Altar and there was clearly no disruption to the distribution of the Precious Body and Blood.

Remembering my camera I went down to take a picture of him... actually I took four or five pictures of him and then turned away. Within seconds the image burned into my film was searing into my soul and I began to weep. Some nameless Good Samaritan in the front row took pity on me and made room for me to sit doubled over in tears.

My eye had framed the picture of Jim but my soul had gone well beyond the initial image and perceived in the person of this one solitary victim all of the victims of all of the clergy over centuries. All of the silent victims of suicide had to be sending their blessings down to this very place-demanding to be seen -- to be present before the people of God. This one man had the courage to come back into his Church and stand silently as a reminder to the Cardinal and all those attending Mass that the criminal behavior of a limited number of priests has been hidden and suppressed by many of their fellow priests and Bishops. Known child molesters were simply transferred from one parish to another, one diocese to another, one country to another. The revelations that began in Boston have been repeated in San Diego, Cincinnati, Chicago, Detroit, San Francisco, Atlanta, Tucson (just to name a few), Ireland, Canada, Germany, England, Scotland, Australia, Africa, Philippines (just to name a few). Reports of clergy sexual abuse have been going to the Vatican to the office of our current Pope Benedict XVI from all over the world and the response from Rome has been negligible.

Jim Robertson found in himself the courage and strength matched by a sense of frustration and anger to make himself vulnerable again to the Church. He placed himself willingly into "their" hands. And it was their response that exploded in my soul as I watched the scene. As it has been since this began the response of most bishops, priests and Cardinals remains the same. NOTHING... The only words spoken to Jim came from the security guard when he arrived at the Cathedra and told Jim he couldn't stay there.

The Cardinal, our Shepherd made no move to ask why Jim was there. The Cardinal, our Shepherd, simply totally ignored him, finished the Mass and exited through the Sacristy. Is this what Jesus would do? Can any of us see Jesus at the Last Supper ignoring one of his own who seems troubled or burdened? At the end of Mass, why could the Cardinal not acknowledge the man I know who has been wounded beyond words not simply by his perpetrator but by the Church who empowered him and continues to hide the truths. If there was anything disruptive about Jim's "action" it was the very public, very clear lack of compassion from "our Shepherd." Approximately 3,000 people attending the Mass either did not notice Jim or did not notice the Cardinal's dismissal of him. Whatever one may personally believe, one of the children of the Lord came to the temple and was ignored. As in the parable of the Good Samaritan… the priest walked by without giving aid.

Then, of course, there was the arrangement made by the attorney for the archdiocese and the attorney who came in from the protest. Jim would not be arrested if he released himself from the chair. A key to the handcuffs was produced, he released the cuffs and then the LAPD was told that the Cardinal wanted a citizen's arrest imposed on Jim. With that, the LAPD put their cuffs on him and took him off to jail.

Again we all fell victim to the Church's change of position from one moment to the next. Unfortunately, we Catholics simply cannot get it into our heads that some of these clerics and their employees will lie, deceive and manipulate anything they can so that they can maintain their power, retain their secrets and ignore the cries of the martyrs of this reformation.

The Cardinal has over 540 cases of clergy sexual abuse facing him here in the Los Angeles Archdiocese and he will be held accountable for the misleading and hurtful things he has said and done. At some point he will have to answer:

Why he has so willingly spoken about turning over files and then had his attorneys file every motion possible to block the release of files.

Why he has not provided the information regarding financial expenditures on the clergy abuse crisis since 1950?

What is his plan as the priest shortage grows and parishes need to be clustered?

Why he continues to keep the names of 33 accused priests secret.

Why he has transferred accused abusers to another diocese?

Why these priests continue in ministry?

Why he continues to refuse to provide dates and places of service for accused clergy?

And finally at some point he will have to explain the difference between the Good Samaritan and the priest walking by the beaten person at the side of the road.

I was educated here in Southern California in a school whose motto was. "Actions not words."

The Cardinal continues to use words frequently, but his actions of compassion toward our damaged children are totally hidden from the public view. Such was the case on Sunday. His Eminence Roger Cardinal Mahony walked away from the Altar of Sacrifice where we affirm that we are ONE in the Body of Christ and right past one of our own wounded and now again abandoned children. Jim was standing within 20 feet of the main Altar and yet unseen by the Presider. Jim was not at the side of the road. He was right in the middle of it and "the priest walked by."

And just to make sure the record is correct... when the Archdiocesean Communications Director reported to the media that Jim presented a "possible threat" to not only the Cardinal, but all those attending Mass and especially children it should be pointed out that if anyone truly felt that there was any threat Mr. Robertson should have been surrounded by security, patted down and removed immediately. As it was he stood quietly beside the cathedra from just following the homily until after the end of Mass without any interaction. Clearly, Jim Robertson never presented any kind of a threat to anyone. Actions do speak louder than words Mr. Tamberg... perhaps the security procedures should be reviewed and revised. Your words again were simply meaningless and misleading --- that seems to be your own particular style lately.

May the good Lord above fill with courage all those who have been victims of our Church and we ask for a special blessing on the lay Eucharistic Minister who had the courage to approach Jim and offer him Communion.

Following the Mass I took a few more pictures of Jim while an usher / greeter / security person told me that:

I could not take pictures

I could not wear the T-shirt I had on in the Church (the T-shirt in question is black and in white letters on the front says Stones of Silence. On the back is a cross standing in a river bed and the words Crying Out Lk.19:40)

I was going to sell my pictures to the Los Angeles Times

After finally disengaging from this spokesman, I sought a moment of reflection in the Sexual Abuse Chapel with one of my friends only to be greeted by two usher/greeter/security people. This time I was told that if I was wearing that T-shirt I could not talk with anyone in the Cathedral...

There are those within the survivor movement who felt that Jim's action's detracted from the silent vigil... there are those within the support community who felt that Jim's actions were inappropriate and that he should not have brought the issue into the Liturgy. I would ask that the following considerations be examined. If all of the prep work and press announcements and all of the efforts to make this the "biggest" protest ever had not been expended, the much needed media would not have been present to report Jim's act.

To Catholics upset that Jim would do something within the Mass I suggest that as Catholics, we have no other forum. We go to Mass and listen and nowadays, most parishes do not even allow the private spoken intercessions at the Prayer of the Faithful. Our Church has long ago silenced us in the mystery of the Consecration, our need for reverence and strict observance of the rules. In the Upper Room was this how it was or was there conversation over dinner about the mission and the ministering, the stories at the end of the day from each of the followers of Jesus? Where else could Jim Robertson go to shine the light of truth on the actions of our Cardinal and Archdiocese?

Having witnessed these events personally, it is simply my opinion that all things truly worked together in the end - and in working together we all grew stronger at the broken places. Anyone who personally saw Jim Robertson knew he was there for every survivor.

Each survivor was victimized in a very private and personal way... one at a time. It is my feeling that each individual survivor has a right to express his/her own feelings as effectively as possible in their own time and in their own way. Sunday it was finally time for Jim. I am honored to know him and to know of his deep love for victims and supporters regardless of whether or not any of us agree with him. He is a man of integrity, a truth seeker with seemingly boundless passion and courage. He was motivated by the powers within him and he made his point with dignity and style, control, respect and grace. It was truly beautiful to see...if one had eyes to see. For those moments he literally became "a channel of His peace."

Hopefully we will all, the Cardinal included, reflect on Jim's action and rethink our positions and our view of this and many other issues. It is a time for reflection and dialogue... A time for truth, transparency and justice...A time for prayer and loving each other... A time for Action Not Words.

A Shepherd needs to tend to his flock...not spend his days talking to attorneys about potential liabilities, revelations or scandals. The Shepherd must direct his action to the broken and oppressed -- the Cardinal should stop hiding behind the lawyers and the courts. What is happening outside the United States where different laws require that documents be turned over and truth placed on the table?

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